We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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