Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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