we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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