Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she told me i tasted like america
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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