You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
