love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
