Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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