I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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