This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
