THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
