Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
