So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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