Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
