He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
