I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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