You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
