we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
