NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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