do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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