She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
