I wannas sexs uuuuu
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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