Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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