I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i think i just lost a toe
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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