we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize