Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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