dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
