Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
