She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
