did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need a beard to bite.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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