Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
