the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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