Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
