Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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