she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
