It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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