i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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