he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
