rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
