my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
