I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
