Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
