Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
