So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
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3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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