Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
