You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
