how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
