I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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