he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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