He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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