Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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