i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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