omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
