Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize