He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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