those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
