I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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