During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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