Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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