if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
