you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
