Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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