wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
