New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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