just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
